Wonko’s Anger Management Classes

Found; slightly stained, wrinkled and folded in half – stuck in the pages of Emma’s diary:

Wonko’s Anger Management Classes!®

Tired of losing control in the heat of battle?
Does negotiating for diamond dust make you want to shove your 10 foot pole down the shopkeepers’ throat?
Is the rest of your party afraid to stand next to you when combat breaks out? …Or in a bar?

If you answered “YES!!!” to any of these questions with an unnecessary level of shouting then you need Wonko’s Anger Management Classes®. In these classes you’ll learn the crucial art of keeping all your advantages in a fight without losing control and taking it out on your friends, the locals, animal companions, familiars and that damn orc who looked at you cross-eyed on your 15th birthday. Like he didn’t know. He knew.

It’s important to understand that it isn’t your fault. Excessive Rage Syndrome (ERS) is a disease. And like any disease paladins can’t catch it. But you have. Once you understand it’s not your fault the healing can begin.

In this program you will learn many necessary tricks and receive conditioning from other ERS sufferers who are now in remission. Counselors who, with understanding and care, in a loving environment and with minimal amounts of straps will implant in you the tools to control your own rage.

Plane spanning and famous techniques like:

“Squezzy Ball”
“Anger Redirection”
“Rage Dismorphia”
“I-hate-you-but-as-a-gift-won’t-kill-you.”

…and many more!

If you like this class for your barbarian, then look in to our other programs in Wonko’s Adventuring Party® line of adaptation techniques:

“Dealing with buffing clerics”
“Paladins: Self righteous as a personality disorder”
“Wizards: How much paranoia is too much?”
“Why did we even bring Rouge anyway?”

So please, before it’s too late and your ability to frenzy leaves your friends with no choice but to take you to an island where all the cages lock from the inside and leave you alone on the shore.

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