Entry #126

(This entry refers to Session Summary 3)

Entry #126

Sorry it’s been so long since the last entry, but I’ve been in deep cover, and I met like the most awesome guy I’ve ever met. Wait, that sounds weird, let’s get to that part from the last thing I wrote.

So once I finally felt better, everyone told me I’d slept though a fight, which is utterly shameful and I swear I’ll never do again. We were heading down the river to Tamran, the capital, so I decided to help Brother Vang and Anselme on watch when I freaking start to puke again! Except this time it wasn’t the Zombie Rot again (I think you’re immune once you get a disease once, right?), it was a nasty green hag that had hopped up on the boat. It took me a bit to get some perfume to clear my nose of that stink, and in that time she swallowed Anselme up and spit him back at us, but then I was jumping over puddles of everybody’s sick and slashing her like nobody’s business. Except my own, ‘cause that’s my job, y’see.

She jumped in the water, and jumped in afterward to show I wasn’t afraid, and I think that scared her off, but she put a dead fish in Brother Vang’s bed the next night. It looks like she’s following him. I think it’s Vang’s first crush. It’s kinda cute, in a so sick it makes you want to swear off food sorta way. It got Anselme all paranoid, he covered the deck in flour, and we started taking watch on the roof. Which is good, because it meant we were totally ready when the PIRATES showed up!

Yeah, it was a ship from Molthune. Gus told me he hates these guys, and Gus doesn’t hate a whole population lightly, so the first that that jumped onto the ship I cut pretty much in half down the middle. Probably my cleanest kill ever (I mean clean like efficient, the blood was freakin’ everywhere). Then I tried to run and jump over onto the other boat to do the same to the guys throwing fire bombs, and they were like “Oh ze noes, zee barbarian maiden veel keel us all!” and pushed me off with sticks instead of facing my in honorable combat. By the time I got back up there Leone had ‘em surrounded and Pandora’d vanished with the captain, so I’d say they were lucky if they didn’t get hanged the next day anyway.

I didn’t do much once we arrived in Tamrin but eat boar, but I did meet my local Society contact Reginar, and when we got to meet the councilwoman Yasgon she wanted us the infiltrate the Cult of Razmir, and like with them being all sneaky so we couldn’t find out where else they’d been going for this amulet thing, I was all in because then maybe we could find out. Some of the others groaned at the idea, even though they didn’t have a better plan. Babies.

So we went to the bar across the street from the church, and the hazing ritual is getting drugged and waking up in cells, which wasn’t too bad. That’s when I finally met Krant. The guy was huge, like a head taller than anybody else in the city! Wider too, and broader. Just, like, generally a huge and powerful guy. I guess Anselme was feeling brave or suicidally insane ‘cause he kept provoking the guy until he gave one good hit. Krant wasn’t afraid to kill a child in one hit if the kid was annoying enough. Luckily Anselme didn’t die.

We went through some more ceremony bullshit (I think the black robe guys were all pretty bored by that stuff, Krant especially), and got our white robes and masks. Krant figured we were all ready for our first lesson, which was beating each other up. I totally would have won, if I weren’t trying to, like, avoid killing people before winning.

I never would have thought all those hours I spent cleaning statues with a toothbrush in the Acacemy would have come in handy, but that was supposed to be our back-breaking labor most days. Staying asleep during the prayers was harder, I actually managed to mess that up once. I got a bitchin’ scar out of it though.

Over the next few days, we had to do other stuff like distract crowds, and we had to get money from some shopkeeper but instead just knocked him out and paid ourselves (though I did get to mess up his store, that was sorta fun), and smash some statues. Brother Vang didn’t want to, so I got to do his. Gus, if you’re reading this, don’t worry they were just those Iomedae mass production junks you find everywhere.

But through it all, I was amazed that Krant had managed to put himself in a place where he could boss people all he wanted sheerly be virtue of being stronger than them. I can totally respect that, I hate it when smart or pretty people think they have a right to be bossy because they’re smart or pretty. It’s infuriating!

We finally got some time off for good behavior, so most of us rested while Pandora did her sneaky thing. It was all good, until we heard her cry out across the church “Hey you guys, I fucked up and now I’m going to do unless you come save my ass right now!” At least that’s pretty much what I heard. We went running upstairs, and the first thing I saw was this crazy person-shaped pile of Razmir masks. It was, like, literally the personification of all the Razmir junk I had to listen to the whole week. I was so happy to get a chance to smash it! It tried to smother me and control my mind, but I was like “Raaar! Your foul magic is not match for my muscles!” It was awesome!

While I was catching my breath, everyone else got the papers and stuff we were looking for (turns out the elf lady that was friends with Kassen is the head person of the cult! Small world when you’re evil, I guess). Then Egarthis, guy in charge while she was gone, came up, and he had some nasty fire dogs and fire magic that hurt me pretty bad. I wasn’t paying much attention to what everyone else was doing, and I think I may have passed out once or twice because I swear I saw the Man in Metal in the darkness yelling at me again, then I was back on my feet chasing Egarthis toward the front door.

We managed to cut him down like a dog or something, but not before he let Krant in. Krant was clutching the biggest sword I’ve ever seen a person manage to hold up, all smiling and stuff, and I wish I’d been in something like top shape but I wasn’t. But it was Krant, and you don’t hold back against Krant. There was some mutual barbarian respect thing going on during our blows, I could totally tell. He would have straight-up killed me if Brother Vang hadn’t intervened, which I guess makes up for having had to fight him in that shape. Yeah, with that it was a pretty even match.

Pandora finally cut his guts out, and while I was hoping he would try to like use them to try to strangle us or something I guess that Krant was still human and he finally died. I’m never going to forget him though, for several reasons- he didn’t give a crap about being he, I swear he was leaning into the blows so he could hit better. I think that shows some balls. He gave me some fresh new scars, and it’ll take years for them to dim a bit. And there’s no way I was going to let anybody else take his sword.

I’ve decided that I don’t like the idea that Krant’s just going to rot in the ground, so I’m keeping him busy. I’m going to name his sword after him (I like Krant’s Joy, ‘cause he looked so happy to die like he did, something I also respect), and I’m going to tie his legend to my own; you know I’m totally going to be legendary once day. Getting published in the Chronicles will just be a start. People will be all “That sword Emma used to kill that evil god dude, that was Krant’s sword, he was all inspirational to her and stuff.” They’re going to tell that story forever, and when they do they’ll all be imagining Krant too. Not rest for you, big slug, you’re gonna be busy in the minds of millions long after you’re dust. Ha!

Anyway, I’m writing this because it looks like we’ve got the Church under our control. Anselme managed to sneak down below and trick all the Initiates to run outside, so we can get the Razmir guys’ stuff (now our stuff by blood right and junk) gathered up. It looks like that elf bitch Iramine is going to the Isle of Terror. With a name like that, you know it’s going to be fun!

In case I die, before we go I think I’ll actually have enough money to pay back Marcos, Kreighton, and Adril for all the supplies they gave me for my first mission, and maybe even Gregor for my Wayfinder. I think Reginar should be able to take care of the details, I’ll toss him a handling fee or something for the trouble.

Why? Because Marcos always taught me that you should pay off your debts before a dangerous mission, because even if you die a hero some asshole’s going to be alive for years saying you just ran off to avoid paying him, and if he lives long enough like that will be what people believe. Totally sounds on the mark.

Woo, I’m getting excited! Isle of Terror, yay!

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