Me Talkin’ (Part I)

(This entry refers to Session Summary 1)

Yo! So I go to this city call Kessen, where some dumb asses think its cool to let their kids play in a trap filled crypt. In advance of this some elder folk go and prep the place with pillows and shit. Only they end up missin. Now they ask me to go and check this place out and follow some other guys over there.

Now these other guys are an interestin lot. There is this kid with a lion, a few fighter types, sum cleric of Iom something, some freaky elf and some caster chick. I run up on them after they had killed some orc slavers. They think its cool to take there heads and pike em up, then terrorize this goblin. Po goblin shittin himself. Can’t give us squat. I don like slavers but these guys were borderline nutzo. I was surprised they didn’t filet the orcz and eat em. I made sure not to eat anyting they gave me, lest I be eatin sum pixies butt or somethin freeky.

So we continue to crypt, finding some dead bloated guy on the way. He looked like some bandit dude. Gettin there we see signs of a fight with some undead types. This being my thang, I get ready. We go in and there are some undead guys and we beat em down fast. We also find some of the Kessen guys dead from fighting the undead. Truly sad. I pick up some old bows for the pathfinders.

We go deeper and freakshow elf falls in some pits. We also encounter haunts that try to fuck with us. We then see this statue thing with two shields that tries to cave our heads in. Also some rats come out and jump us. We deactivate da statue, then go into this room with some magic stuff.

After we get out, we then go and check out this hall with a bunch of mechanical statues that ar supposed ta cut us up. I tell everyone hey lets use the shields, but they ignore me and just jump around the hall. After some of us get whacked we come to this fountain with a headless dude. “Magic is the key” it says. I then cast detect magic and whoa! Once again I am da man. I see da key at da bottom. The question is…the key ta what?

Well, at this point we come to a door. We open it and a whirling column of arrows starts shootin. NOW two people decide to use the shields….and they go to the next room. The door shut behind them and they go and find out there are some monsters in the next room. I say hey some back and wait arrows cant go forever, but they don’t listen to the smartass guy with bow…they press on.

They of course get in trouble and we initially have no idea what the hell is goin on. Eventually we go in after em and have to eat some arrows on the way. I am last to go across and don’t get the benefit of a shield. So I take some pain and get there, only to see the whirly-gig run outta arrows behind me. Meanwhile the ones that went across are fighting some unded guys and not doin so hot till the rest of us got there. We get there and make short work of em’

After dis we got a dilemma, right, left or straight. I use my powah o Desna to see what is beyond each door. I find out that a bunch of stinky ass zombies are behind one door and a watery cave on da other side. We pick the middle where we find a fountain of happiness. Of course you cant bottle it, cause you never can, but we tried and found out it failed.

So we sleep there and Desna sends me a dream. Not the good kind with the dancing elf hotties but the kind with a zombie spider on the roof. I tell my peeps that it is probable that something like that lurks down one hallway.

So now the smarties think of a great idea. Hey lets go invis into the zombie area and sneak by. Great idea, assuming that no one else is in there. But hey! They make it. In the next room is something that scares the crap outta the freakly elf chick cause she comes running out pissin herself, while the cleric just strolls out behind her. Amazingly nothing follows.

They then decide to go into the watery cave. Apparently the cleric thinks frogs are undead, cause he walks right by em, all tiptoe like, past some electric mushrooms into some room with a water and wheel. See according to the hall outside the wheel opens something…probably the spider thing I saw in my dream cause the cleric saw that down the other hallway.

Meanwhile the frog wakes up. We hear screaming inside and run in. When we get around the corner we see zombies and frogs all in one big clusterterd jumping the cleric. Freeky elf is nowhere to be seen. We beat down the zombies and frogs and the fat frog that eats the cleric. Apparently clerics are tough on the digestion, cause the cleric was ok as someone down someone’s gullet could be.

Tomorrow we decide what is next. All of this still was intended for kids.